Feeling discomfort? Say “thank you” and embrace it
“Fail forward.” “Lean in.” “The phoenix must burn in order to emerge.”
John C. Maxwell, Sheryl Sandberg, and Janet Fitch were all onto something. So was everyone else who has written or spoken an iteration of the above concept in their own way.
When you begin to break down inspirational quotes, there’s often a common theme. The theme I want to talk about in this moment is the notion of sitting with discomfort instead of feeling threatened by it.
You see, when we feel discomfort, whether it’s in the form of sadness, or grief, or anger, or pain, our learned human instinct kicks in and we immediately want to do whatever we can to make that feeling go away. The methods we use to do this can be anything from throwing a tantrum to retreating from our friend group to numbing ourselves with booze.
But hear me out for a second: what if we did the opposite?
What would happen if we leaned into the discomfort and gave ourselves permission to feel it with all of its might until it reached its peak?
What if then, once we reached that peak, we talked ourselves through the discomfort and told the truth about it?
And to go one step further, what if after that, we reclaimed our power from that initial feeling of discomfort and fell into a place of pure gratitude to ourselves for allowing that process to take place?
Let me share an example to show you exactly what I’m talking about.
Say you’re stressed out with work. You feel behind on everything, you’re unsure how your coworkers or boss feel about you and the work you’re producing, and on top of that, there’s a raging pandemic taking place alongside scary headlines constantly swallowing up the press that just won’t stop. You feel extreme discomfort in the form of stress, worry, anger, and confusion.
First, let’s sit with that discomfort. How exactly do you feel? Close your eyes and allow yourself to express these feelings in any way you need.
Once you’ve reached that peak feeling of extreme discomfort, let’s work to position ourselves as an observer and walk through exactly what is actually real and true. Are you really on the verge of getting fired, or are these feelings and worries stemming from previous wounds that are rooted in uncertainty and inadequacy? (In this case, let’s go with the latter). Are other people’s violent actions affecting you directly? (Not at the moment). Do you live in a home that makes you feel safe? (Yes). Are there people in your life that you can reach out to for support when you need it? (Yes).
Now, you’re ready to reclaim your power. A simple statement like, “I reclaim the power from this discomfort and place my focus on what is actually real and true!” will work just fine.
And finally, it’s time to show some gratitude. If your intuition didn’t bring up these feelings of discomfort, you wouldn’t have discovered the wounds that were at the root cause of it; nor would you have processed the feelings entirely to a point that allowed you to let go of them. Isn’t that beautiful?
What if we took this approach and applied it to our lives as often as possible instead of running away from discomfort? Could you imagine the impact it would have on our state of mind, mental fog, overall mood and level of happiness?
The Process I walked you through just now stems from a book titled, “Busting Loose From The Business Game” by Robert Scheinfeld, and my summary is just the tip of the iceberg, but it’s changing my life as we speak. If you’re intrigued and willing and ready for a more spiritual approach to life, I recommend picking up a copy and digging into his wisdom.
To close us out, I’d like to remind you that you are not alone, you are safe, you are held, you are perfect right here and right now, and you are loved. Try this approach and see if it helps you untangle some of the discomfort that’s showing up in your life right now.
